


Merely a Tool

by VeryMauk_aGast



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Background Trent Ikithon, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Canon Universe, Comforting Mollymauk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: c02e055 Duplicity, Fjord and Caduceus are asleep, Forehead Kisses, Hurt Caleb Widogast, M/M, Mighty Nein, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast, Silent "I love you", Slow Burn, Succubi & Incubi, Top of head kiss, hand-holding, widoleaf, widomauk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 05:31:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18230573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryMauk_aGast/pseuds/VeryMauk_aGast
Summary: “I- I am a tool,” he said, clenching his hair with both hands, pulling his knees up to bury his face in them. “I’m always a tool for evil.”When Caleb faces the crushing aftermath of the Mighty Nein's fight against the incubus and succubus, Mollymauk is there to help pull him back.





	Merely a Tool

Mollymauk had always been a light sleeper. It came with the territory. Even before joining the Mighty Nein he’d always had a difficult time relaxing completely. Something in his past that he couldn’t quite remember drew him into an almost constant state of vigilance. It came in handy, for the most part. However, it did make a complete, solid night’s rest difficult. Like tonight.

Alarm bells started going off in his mind as soon as the soft sounds poked into his sleeping consciousness. Small, quiet sounds that weren’t meant to rouse anyone. In fact, they sounded muffled. Molly opened his eyes, frowning, and immediately his fingers found the hilt of his scimitar, ready to pounce on any threats that arrived. And being smack in the center of the City of Beasts, that could be anything. His eyes scanned their room to assess the situation. He saw Fjord and Caduceus lying in their respective corners, fast asleep. Cadeceus’ ears twitched, and he mumbled something incoherent in his slumber as he turned over towards the wall. A small drip of saliva dribbled out of Fjord’s open, snoring mouth. They were fine.

He finally looked to the corner of the room where Caleb was sleeping. Well, supposed to be sleeping. Instead he looked over to see the human huddled in the corner, face against the corner of the wall. One hand was clenched tightly in his hair, and the other was pressed against the human’s mouth the muffle his sounds. Molly frowned in concern. He sat up, not trying to hide the fact that he was now awake. Caleb didn’t seem to notice.

“Caleb?” he whispered quietly so he hopefully wouldn’t startle Cad or Fjord awake. The wizard froze, as he did so often. He didn’t respond, but Mollymauk knew he’d heard him. “You alright?” he asked, creeping a little closer. Molly knew the wizard liked his space, but he couldn’t contain himself.

He watched Caleb’s hand move up from his mouth to furiously scrub at his eyes. “ _Ja_.” The response was quiet, but hoarse, and gravely.

Molly’s eyes narrowed as he crawled across the small space to sit himself beside Caleb. The wizard hunched in on himself, trying to avoid Molly’s stare. The tiefling ducked his head over to get a look at Caleb’s face. Sure enough, the human’s usually vivid, blue eyes were red and puffy, visible even in the dark of the room, thanks to his darkvision. “You’re clearly not,” Molly whispered with sincerity. “Come on,” he said rising to offer his hand to Caleb. “Let’s take a walk.”

Caleb eyed his outstretched hand for several seconds before his trembling hand reached out to grasp Molly’s. The tiefling grabbed his coat off the floor with his tail. He didn’t have to worry about Caleb getting his; he never took it off.  He quietly led the human towards the door ushering him through. As he went to close the door, Molly noticed Caduceus’ pink eyes open towards him with mild curiosity and concern. Molly just shook his head softly, hoping he would understand the unspoken message. Caduceus nodded in response, watching as Molly pulled the door shut.

The city was bustling, even in the dead of night. It was a bit unusual for Molly. Most of the cities he’d been to didn’t have a wild night life. Well, except Hupperduke… But this was a totally different vibe. No wild parties; just creatures going about their business like they would in the daylight. Caleb clearly looked uncomfortable, and pulled his cloak over his head. “Don’t worry. I have a place in mind,” Molly said. He tugged Caleb’s hand along, forcing the wizard to follow him.

They circled the Four Corners tavern until they came upon the storage shed where Beau and Jester had met up with Dairon. Molly glanced around to ensure that they weren’t being watched, and pressed his ear against the door. He didn’t hear anything from inside, so he opened the door. The shack was blessedly empty, so he ushered Caleb in. Molly quickly found some tall stacks of grain bags towards the back, and sat down on one, gesturing for Caleb to do the same. Caleb stood still for a minute, nervously picking at the sleeves of his coat. “Come on, dear. Sit,” the tiefling urged. The human took a few more seconds, but finally sat down on the stack across from Mollymauk.

“Now,” Molly whispered carefully, “what’s wrong, sweetheart?” Caleb wouldn’t look him in the eye, picked at his sleeves more, and didn’t respond. “Was it the fight?”

The human froze again, drawing in a sharp breath, and biting his lip viciously.

“It was bad,” Molly said, carefully watching Caleb’s face for a response. “It was so bad.”

“ _J-ja_.” The small, cracking whisper shattered the darkness.

“But we made it. We all made it. It looked dire, but we lived. Every, single one of us.” Caleb crossed his arms in front of his abdomen, hunching in on himself. “We beat those nasty fuckers, and closed the rift,” Molly continued, hoping that focusing on some of the good aspects first would help with what would follow. “They’re never going to hurt anyone again.” The human looked so small, and so fragile. “They can’t control anyone anymore,” Molly said gently.

With that, Caleb pressed a hand against his mouth to stifle a guttural sob. Molly’s tail twitched behind him. He wanted so badly to lean in and hug the human tightly; he wanted to hug him until the pain faded. But he didn’t know if that would make it worse or not. Caleb’s entire body was trembling, and streams of tears started cleansing streaks of the ever-present dirt on his face.

“They can’t control you anymore,” Mollymauk whispered with sincerity.

“It- it is my fault.” The human’s voice shook with effort.

“What?”

“I hurt everyone. The people I care about…all I do is hurt them,” he sobbed. Molly could practically see the events of the evening repeating themselves in Caleb’s eyes. The wizard’s gaze was miles away from them, trapped in an underground cavern full of flames and blood.

Molly could see it too. The vivid image of Caleb’s glassy blue eyes and outstretched, fiery hand flashed in Molly’s vision. He could feel the wave of heat and the raucous explosion of fire crashing down on the Mighty Nein all over again. Molly could see the demonic creature wrapping its tendrils around his friend’s arm to fire off devastating spells towards them. It had been horrifying, but he knew it wasn’t Caleb. They all knew that.

“Oh, Caleb, no! It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you.” He watched as Caleb shook his head. “It wasn’t. Those fuckers messed with your head. They got Yasha, too. You didn’t do that. They did.”

“I- I am a tool,” he said, clenching his hair with both hands, pulling his knees up onto the sacks to bury his face in them. “I’m always a tool for evil.”

Molly growled low in his throat as his tail snuck forward to gently stroke across Caleb’s knees. “No. No, you’re not.”

“But I am, Mollymauk,” he muttered. “Those creatures, Trent… I’m weak. I let them in, and let them invade. Let them speak evil into my mind, and let them control me.”

He watched Caleb for a few seconds of silence. Poor Caleb. He was so wounded and battered, bodily and mentally. “It’s not your fault though,” Molly finally said.

“I should be stronger,” Caleb insisted through another sob.

“Caleb. I need you to look at me,” Molly ordered, leaning closer so that his tail could poke in between Caleb’s arms to press gently on the human’s chin. “Please.” The human resisted for a moment, so Molly pressed in more firmly. Finally, Caleb glanced up, eyes watery and distant, wrapping his arms around his knees instead. “Thank you, dear,” Molly said. “Now. I want you to listen. Don’t interrupt, and don’t contradict me. Just listen.”

Caleb looked as though he wanted to protest, but Molly wouldn’t budge. The human eyed him warily, and gave the smallest of nods.

“Good,” Molly said, letting his tail draw across Caleb’s cheek before falling backwards towards the ground. “Now, listen. Caleb, dearest. The world is full of evil. We both know that.” Caleb clenched his eyes shut against the words. “You, my dear, sweet boy, are not evil,” Molly quickly continued. “I want to make that absolutely clear. You are not evil.”

The human lifted his head to speak, but Molly raised a hand, and his tail rose up to press firmly against Caleb’s lips. “I said no interruptions.” He looked pained, but Caleb didn’t make any efforts to try and talk again.

“Evil people and evil beings, all they want is power, control, and suffering. They don’t care about anything but attaining their goals, and they certainly don’t care about who they hurt in the process,” Molly continued. “They use people. They control people.” The tiefling hesitated, trying to gather his thoughts before continuing.

“Those creatures…Trent…they did control you.” Fresh tears fell off Caleb’s cheeks with the heavy truth that Molly spoke. “We can’t change that. They used you, they made you do terrible things. But, darling, it wasn’t you. _They_ did those things.”

Caleb shook his head violently, chest heaving as he tried to muffle his agony.

“Even the strongest people can be taken hostage by evil, Caleb,” he continued. “You didn’t do those things. Those monsters imposed their own will through you. You are a kind person, and you’ve done so much good for the world. It’s not your fault. I know you might think that it is, and I know I can’t really stop you from thinking that way. But, hopefully someday you’ll believe me. It’s never been your fault.”

The wizard trembled and sobbed, broken and fragile. Molly stood up to stand beside him, not able to push down his desire to physically comfort him anymore. The tiefling pressed his hands against Caleb’s knees to push them down. They limply fell towards the ground as Caleb glanced up. Molly gently pressed himself inwards, crowding into the human’s space to press his body in for a hug. Caleb’s body stiffened for a moment, every muscle tensed with what was probably a desire to run. Molly settled his chin on Caleb’s shoulder, and encircled his shoulders completely with his arms as his tail twisted around the human’s thin waist. “Caleb Widogast, you are good, and you are loved. I wish you could see you how I do.”

The tension seeped out of the wizard’s body, and suddenly his hands crept up to circle around Mollymauk’s torso. Caleb pressed his face into the crook of Molly’s neck. Hot tears and pained sobs resonated through his lavender skin. Mollymauk carefully reached up to stroke a hand through Caleb’s hair, cradling his head gently.

They stayed that way for a fragment of eternity. Molly just murmured soft, encouraging words towards the broken human, holding him in a small net of safety. Eventually, the wracking sobs slowed and turned to soft sniffles.

“Thank you,” Caleb whispered against Mollymauk’s neck.

“Always, love,” Molly said, pulling back slightly to press a kiss to the top of Caleb’s head. “I care about you.”

The wizard pulled backwards slowly, finally breaking their embrace. One corner of Caleb’s mouth turned up into as close to a smile as Molly’d ever seen, even though it still held the wizard’s aching pain. “ _Ja_ … I care about you, too.”

Sharp fangs poked out from behind his lips as Molly returned the smile. He slowly unwound his tail from Caleb’s waist, letting it drag across a bit longer than he should have so that he could keep the contact with the human. “Feel any better?” he whispered cautiously.

“Uh, a bit, I suppose…” he muttered. Caleb’s fingers reached out towards Molly’s hand hesitantly. Molly immediately gave it to him. Caleb clasped their fingers together, stubbornly staring at the ground instead of looking at Mollymauk. “It will take time, Molly. I can’t shake off the years with a night. I will have bad days. But, you…the others…you make me better. You make me stronger,” he whispered.

“You do the same for me,” Molly replied, lightly tapping his index finger against Caleb’s knuckle three times, letting his finger say the words he couldn’t speak out loud.

Caleb hummed quietly in thought before returning the three taps with his own finger. He looked up at Molly with a small, knowing smile. “I- I am glad I found you.”

“Me, too, Caleb. Me, too.” Molly leaned back in to press another affectionate kiss on Caleb’s forehead, much like he’d done in the gnoll mines so many moons ago. The wizard pressed forward into it, eyes sliding shut with a content look on his face. Molly pulled away after another second, and straightened his back out without breaking their clasped hands apart. “Come on. We should go get some sleep.” Moonweaver knows they both needed it.

“ _Ja_. _Ja,_ sleep is _gut_ ,” Caleb agreed, standing up with him. The human didn’t change his grip either, so Molly just tapped his finger three times again as he pulled them towards the door.

***

Caleb hadn’t removed his hand the entire walk back. Granted, it wasn’t far, but Mollymauk certainly wasn’t going to take his away before Caleb did. As they approached the door to their room, Caleb stopped short, tugging Molly back a step.

“Everything alright, Caleb?” he asked, brow furrowing with concern when he saw the wizard’s face was a bit pink.

“Hmm? Oh, _ja_. I just- I was wondering, umm… I was hoping you might, erm, sleep next to me tonight?” Caleb’s teeth bit down on his lower lip with a bit of embarrassment. “It’s just… I, um, I think that the contact might help.”

“Of course, dear,” Molly said fondly, letting his tail swirl around to press in gently against the middle of Caleb’s back. “You have a preferred position?”

The wizard’s face flushed from pink to red. Molly grinned, filing away the image for a later day. “Oh, erm, just back to back. If that’s okay?”

“Of course.”

“ _Gut_ ,” he replied with a small nod, reaching towards the door with his free hand.

Molly watched Caleb open the door quietly, glancing around the room before pulling the tiefling in after him. The human slowly picked his way across the small room to the back corner he was originally sleeping in. Molly glanced down, seeing one of Caduceus’ pink eyes following them subtly with a knowing smile as he closed it once more. Fjord was still snoring softly in the corner, and the pool of drool had grown substantially. “If I ever start snoring like that, just slap me, will ya?” Molly chuckled softly.

“I will just send Frumpkin to sit on your face for a moment,” Caleb replied as he sat down, finally releasing Molly’s hand.

“Sounds like a plan.” He smiled fondly as he dropped to the floor next to Caleb. Molly watched Caleb lay down on the floor to get comfortable before taking off his coat to nestle in next to him. He took the fabric, flicking it out into a makeshift blanket over the two of them as he pressed his back against Caleb’s smaller frame.

It only took a couple of minutes of silence for Mollymauk’s eyes to grow heavy. The warmth of Caleb behind him, the soft noises of their friends sleeping safely behind him, and the general exhaustion from the day’s events all taking a toll on him. Just as he was about to drift off, he felt Caleb reach his arm further back towards his. The wizard’s fingers searched for a moment before finding Molly’s hand. Caleb laid his hand on top of it, and Mollymauk smiled as he felt three small taps from Caleb’s index finger against the back of his hand. “Goodnight, love,” Molly whispered as sleep finally crept in to take him from consciousness for the evening.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first WidoMauk fic. I loved episode 2x55 so much that I really felt the need to write something for it, but it just felt like Caleb really needed Molly... Hopefully you all like it :) I love hearing feedback!


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